All I have is hard water, and expired eggnog...

This story will lighten each of your hearts with it's classic humor. We drove out of town, about 20 miles. We found the road, and pulled off, and walked about a mile. We finally found the cave, and the hole, was friggen small. In my mind, the only thing I heard was, "I got this... No problem." After the ropes were secured, Mike, the geologist went down, followed by Meep and Cody. Then it was my turn. With my message running through my mind, I hopped down by the hole, and started to ascend. It all went fine, until I came across a problem. My ass wouldn't slide through the tiny 2x1 hole. So here I was, halfway emerging from the earth. I tried wiggling, I tried shuffling, nothing would work. Finally Mike yelled up, "Daniel, what's the matter? Are you trying to come down, or go up?" I said, "I'm trying to come down!!!" I finally gave up, defeated as ever, and peeked through the hole to my comrades below. The other Mike went down to tell him what he was going to do, which was take me home. So they went ridge walking, while Mike took me home. I finished the job of moving 14 tons of rock, and came out with a pretty penny. I came out with 120 bucks. After I was finished, I watched Dogma, and Beverly Hills Cop II. I couldn't leave, because my bag was in the cave, and that had my phone and keys. I guess I'm just too damn grizzly for that cave. Oh well, give it a year and I'll be sliding through that hole with no problem whatsoever. Dan wants to go rock climbing now.